


Split Seam

by JaysenTheGaysen



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drabble, Embarrassment, M/M, Post Season 19, Professor Barba, Rafael's amazing ass comes back to haunt him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-09-23 14:36:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17082161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaysenTheGaysen/pseuds/JaysenTheGaysen
Summary: Rafael rips his pants and has to call Sonny for a new pair.





	Split Seam

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fucker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fucker/gifts).



It had been a perfectly normal day right up until it happened. 

Breakfast with Sonny, fooling around a bit in the shower, getting dressed and hurrying out to work after what had to be the fifty-third "Have a good day at work, babe" kiss in under a minute. Rafael grabbed a cup of coffee on his way to his office, noticing when he sat back down in his car that his pants seemed a little tighter than usual but chalking it up to just the extra couple pounds of winter weight he had started putting on. Dressed smartly in a relatively casual charcoal sweater vest, dress shirt, and matching slacks, he looked more and more the part of a college professor every day. 

He sipped his coffee, giving a little sigh, and went to prep his notes for his lecture when he dropped his pen. It was a rather expensive fountain pen, one that he'd received from his grandmother upon becoming an ADA, and naturally his first instinct was to retrieve it. It rolled under his desk, making him groan in frustration as he pushed his chair back away from his desk and got to his hands and knees to reach underneath it. It sat just outside his reach, under the cabinet part of his desk.

Rafael lowered his chest, arching his back and pushing his ass out, the position getting him low enough to feel the pen under his fingertips.

With an almost comical popping sound that startled Rafael into nearly hitting his head under the desk, Rafael's pants tore right along the crotch seam over his ass, the fabric shredding apart and revealing that Rafael had even matched his boxer-briefs to his vest and slacks. His pen forgotten, Rafael scrambled out from under his desk, face burning red. 

" _A la mierda con tu puta madre!_ " He felt around to where his pants had come apart, still swearing hard enough to make a sailor blush. " _Me cago en todo lo que se menea!_ " 

Rafael had to stop himself, taking a few deep breaths to collect himself and get his thoughts back together. 

Settling back into his chair, face still a gorgeous shade of crimson, he picked up his phone and called Sonny. The phone rang once, twice.

"Hey, babe! What's up?" Sonny sounded like he was having a good day, probably just having to file some papers over already resolved cases. The idea of having to pull Sonny away from work made the words die on Rafael's tongue, the fast-talking professor for the first time in a very long time speechless from humiliation.

"Babe? You there?"

Rafael, fighting his instinct to stay shut up, finally managed to speak. "Sonny, I ripped my pants."

_There, straight out with it_ , he thought. 

Sonny was quiet on the other end for a second, and Rafael couldn't help the well of anxiety that rose in his stomach. Imagine his horror when, justifying his fear, Rafael heard a snicker over the line. Sonny, voice quavering with very barely restrained laughter, said, "Raf, you're on speaker."

Rafael very nearly lost his breakfast, the sheer humiliation of it all making him want to curl up under his desk and die. 

"Dominick!" He whined, which only made the laughter on the other end start up raucously. He could recognize Amanda's and Liv's laughter in there, and Sonny's too. Despite his wounded pride, he started to laugh himself, partially out of sheer anxiety but mostly out of finally seeing the humor of his situation. When the laughter died down, Rafael was still letting out tiny giggles, bubbling up from his throat. 

"Just bring me a new pair of pants, okay?"

**Author's Note:**

> This is what I get for listening to Ripped Pants from Spongebob's Yellow Album. Also I just like to humiliate Rafael.  
> A note, my Spanish ain't great but boy do I know how to say some nasty things about your mother.
> 
>  
> 
> _A la mierda con tu puta madre! _\- Fuck your fucking mother!__  
>  _Me cago en todo lo que se menea! _\- Shit on everything that moves!__


End file.
